Why?
by Lauriena
Summary: The Maru crew tries to come to terms with the death of a friend. (death of minor character)


A/N- Alright I love the few stories out there with Vex Pac in them.  I mean we know nothing about the guy, which makes him such a fun character to read about.  Anyways this is sort of based on Raven and Parisindy writing.  (Read there writing it is so much better than mine!)

Disclaimer-not mine just here for a visit

Warnings-death of a minor character, swearing (lots, sorry I just moved out of the dorm), strong emotions resulting in owies and Harper owies (this is me writing this)

~~~*~~~

            Beka tore down the halls of the Maru.  She couldn't let them see her crying.  Tears lined her eyes threatening to spill out.  "He can't be dead, he's not dead."  She muttered to no one.  "Won't believe it."  She goes to her door and entered the code to open the door.  

'Wrong code re-enter' the screen in front of her flashed.  "Damn you, stupid door."  Beka yelling hitting the keypad.   She reentered her code with so much force pain radiated up her arm from her sore fingers.  Not caring she beat on the door as the error messaged flashed again.  "Open you stupid, fucking door" She felt the skin on her knuckle break but she didn't care.  "Let me into my room."  Once again she entered the code for the door, slower than before and with enough force to break the keypad.  Beka had finally entered the right key sequence or the Maru figured it wasn't going to stay in open piece for long if it didn't start to obey its captain.  

The door opened and Beka dropped into her bed.  The tears she had held in for so long finally falling from her eyes.  "Why, why" she cried as she buried her face into her pillow.  She flipped over on her back and yelled at the ceiling.  "He shouldn't have died.  It was just a stupid accident.  It shouldn't have happen."  The tears continued to come until Beka found herself coughing unable to breathe, and still the tears came.  "Vex, why did you have to die like that?"  Beka continued to choke on her unending tears until she fell into a dreamless sleep. 

~~~*~~~~

_            "Why Vex?"  Beka asked as she buried her head into his chest._

_            "Drugs make people do crazy things."_

_            "But why did he take them, why didn't he just stop.  He could have stopped anything but he didn't.  He didn't care about me or Rafe, just his next fix."_

_            "That wasn't him.  He loved you and Rafe more than you will ever know."_

_            "But he loved the drugs more."_

_            "No honey he didn't.  He loved you two more than life it's self.  Drugs became his life.  He couldn't get out of their grasp but it doesn't mean he stopped loving you."  Beka picked her head up looking Vex in the eyes now._

_            "Promise?"_

_            "Have I ever lied to you Beka?"  The young women shook her head.  "Well there's your answer._

_~~~_

_            Beka slumped in the chair after missing the exit in slipstream.  "Damn," she yelled hitting the armrest of the chair._

_            "Calm down little lady."  Beka shot Vex a glare that simply said back off.  "Come on Beka, you have just started piloting slipstream.  Trust me it takes a lot of practice."_

_            "yeah well well I don't have time for that and now we are going to be late meeting with our next client."_

_            "He'll wait."_

_            "Not without docking pay."_

_            "It will be ok, besides which is better sitting here and being mad or getting back in the stream and being only a few minutes late."  Beka let out a sigh and gave Vex another look.  "Well you could sit here and pout and make us even later."  Beka let a smile grace her lips as she put her arms back in the controls and prepared the ship for another trip into the stream_

_~~~*~~~_

            Beka wiped her face with the bottom of her tank top that she was wearing with a pair of boxers.  She had lost her EVA suit in her frantic run down the hallway.  She now felt the chill of her little clothes.  She crawled under the covers of her bed, too tired to bother with changing.

_~~~*~~~_

            Harper sat next to the airlock with his knees pulled to his chest rocking back and forth.  He was still in his EVA suit.  Somehow he had managed to take off his helmet but he couldn't remember when or how.  It had been after the airlock had close otherwise he would have faced the same fate as Vex.  

Vex, Harper had seen people die, in the 19 years he had lived on earth he had become almost numb to the death and dying around him.  He had press the plunger that killed his cousins when he was 12 without shedding a tear.  They were invested it had to be done.  But Vex, vex didn't need to die.  He wasn't sick or dying.  He was healthy, perfectly healthy and now he was dead.  Dead like all the people Harper had known and cared for, his parents, his sisters, his cousins, and all his family.  Harper continued rock back and forth.  He felt tears forming but he blinked them away.  He hadn't cried in years.  All his tears had dried up along time ago.  If he started crying now he would never stop.  The dead didn't need his pity.

He had to brush himself off like he had done so many times before and go on.  Then why couldn't he move from the position he was in now.  He tried to stand but his knees gave out and he found himself sitting on the floor again.  Harper drew his legs back up to his chest and rested his head on his knees.  "Why Vex, why?"  He muttered to no one and the world.  And then the tears started to flow.

~~~*~~~~

_            "Hey kid you want to give me a hand with this wiring?"  Harper just nodded and walked up to Vex.  He was still timid from the repeated beats of Bobby the months before.  He had found that humans could be as cruel as Neizchiens.  "Come on we are rewiring some of the consoles, Beka fried them in the last fire fight."  Harper just looked at the floor and followed him down the hallway toward the command deck._

_            In a few hours the two of them were sitting in the middle of a tangled web of wiring.  "Ok now we have to figure out a way to untangle all this.  Sorry I got you into this Harper; it's kinda a pain in the butt job.  It should go faster with two people though.  Soon Harper was picking through the wire, a smile grew on his face as he relies his nimble fingers where untangling the mess twice as fast as Vex.  _

_He turned around and looked at Vex with a smile on his face showing him all his neatly organized wires.  Vex still had several left to go.  Harper quickly looked down.  He was never to be better at anything.  He braced himself as he for the smack for being a smart ass.  He felt Vex's hand on his back but it wasn't a heavy hand.  It was just a light pat on the back.  "Nice job Harper, you're going to be a great engineer some day."  _

_~~~_

_            "Hey Harper," Vex called out.  The sound of another person's voice spooked Harper causing him to loose his grip on the welder in his hand.  It fell through his fingers still on, burning into his hand and then landing on the floor.  Turning itself off as it broke into pieces at his feet._

_            "Vex, I'm sorry about the welder, Beka can take the cost out of my pay.  I will work extra hard to get a new one I promise."  Harper knew he was babbling but it was hard to think, the pain from his hand was radiating up his hand till it filled his body.  His thoughts were becoming foggier and he could feel himself blacking out.  It was then that he felt a hand come around his waist.  He tried to wiggle out of it but he was too weak.  He felt Vex carry him into the crew quarters and place him on Vex's bunk.  "Vex, what's…" but his voice faded out too weak to continue._

_            "Harper's its ok; we'll get a new welder.  They are easy to replace."  Vex turned and Harper could see he calling out for someone.  He then felt him taking his injured hand.  "Sorry but this is going to hurt a little kid.  The good news is I think your hand will be ok.  Good thing, you're much harder to replace."_

_~~~_

_            "Kid I need you.  You're now better at repairing the slipstream."_

_~~~*~~~_

            "It's my fault Vex; I should have checked the EVA suits better.  If had you would still be alive.  It's my fault your dead.  I should have…" Harper voice broke again as tears streamed down his face.  "I'm so sorry" Harper managed to cough out between the tears.

~~~*~~~

            Rev sat in his room meditating.  He tried to see the divine plan in Vex's death.  He couldn't ponder how the death of such a gentle soul could be in the will of the divine.  Rev lit a candle in honor of his lost friend.  "My pain belongs to the divine, it is like air, it is like water…"

~~~*~~~

            _"I know my people have cause much pain."_

_            "That is your people, not you.  No one should be blamed because of the actions of their race."_

_            "That is a wise sentiment, but I have seen what my people have done."_

_            "But you choose to not be a part of it.  I respect you deeply for that."_

_~~~*~~~_

            "I miss you deeply my friend, but I shall always carry the light of your sprit with me"

~~~*~~~

            Beka, Harper, and Rev stood in front of a pile of rocks on a small planet.  There had been no way to retrieve Vex's body.  A small pile of rocks was all that sever to remind them of their fallen friend.  Rev recited a prayer over the grave and then turned back to Beka and Harper.

            "I miss him so much," Beka said, fighting back the tears that threaten to come out again.  She had cried so much in the last days she thought that she had dried them all up but yet they still kept coming.  How did her body find the tears?  She felt too tired to do anything but curl back into her bunk and sleep.

            "I can't believe he's gone."  Harper muttered.  Why wasn't he use to this now?  He should be use to death.   He lived with it his whole life and yet he could seem to find a way to except his friend death.  

He was away from the death of earth and yet he was saying goodbye to another friend.  It just wasn't fair.  A stupid seal, a stupid seal failure and Vex was dead.  Harper turned away.  Unable to look at his friends and the stone pile that mark his friend was truly gone.

            "May your soul be at peace."  Rev turned from the marker to his remaining friends and headed back to the ship.  He found himself searching his soul for the answers to the questions he knew he would never know.

~~~*~~~

            Harper stood at the door of the officer's mess.  "Beka, I request that you leave me on the next dive of a planet we pass."  Beka who had been staring at the table for the last five minutes looked up.  Her eyes were red from crying but were clear now.

            "Why Harper?"

            "It's my fault that Vex died.  If I had check the EVA suits more carefully then he would still be alive.  It's my fault."  Harper started to break down into tears again.  He slid down the door, his legs no longer able to support him.  Beka rushed over to him and put her hands on his shoulders

            "Harper, Harper look at me, it's no one's fault."  Harper looked at her, his eyes now bloodshot from his tears.

            "Then why is he dead?"  Beka shook her head.

            "You know as well as me that people die."

            "But if I had check them one more time."

            "You would have still missed it.  Harper it was a stupid accident.  It's over with and looking back on it won't keep it from happening.  We have to go on.  Vex would have wanted that.

            "But how?"

            "Same way as always.  One day at a time."

            "But it hurts so much."  Beka nodded her head and wrapped her arms around Harper.

~~~*~~~

_On September 11th I watched my friends' faces as they saw the images of the world trade centers collapsing.  We were eating at a Fridays after attending the funereal of my friend Rague.  Although none of my high school friends read fan fic this is dedicated to them.  They are the toughest kids I know.  They have survived losing four of their classmates in three months.  I love them all!_

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End file.
